5 ways to being a better person (by not being a dick)

Most of us have had a job that has required us to actually talk to people, I am afraid that in this day and age, people are an integral part of society and contact with them is usually unavoidable.

There are many types of people of many different cultures that are kind, loving and generally pleasant to be around. I often find myself enjoying the company of certain humans I have taken to calling my friends, but where there is good, there is always bad, and these bad people usually come in the form we workers in retail and hospitality like to call dickhea- ahem, I mean- customers.

I know it must be stressful to have the weekends off, with all that shopping and relaxing you have to do before even more shopping and relaxing. I understand how hard it is to be able to walk out into the town and be able to buy just about anything one would need, so I have come up with a helpful little list to help you, help me, help you.

Here are five ways to be a better person by not being a dick.  

Don’t talk on the phone while I serve you.   

Don’t talk on the phone when I am serving you. Just don’t do it. If you are on the phone, finish your conversation before you bother me. Simple as that. I did not come in to work at an ungodly time in the morning just to watch you have a conversation about who slept with who or what, how drunk you got last night or where you are going to on holiday in the next week. I don’t care, no one cares. Not even the person you’re talking to cares.

Don’t just order a coffee and expect me to know wtf you want

I work in a coffee shop. Don’t come in and order just a coffee – there are lots of coffees. Don’t order and just expect me to know exactly what you want like some mind reading magician. I don’t walk into a restaurant and just order ‘food.’

“Oh hello Mr Waiter, I will have the food please.”

Also, don’t get pissy with me when I suggest something because you obviously don’t know what the hell you want. If you order ‘just’ a coffee, I am going to give you an Americano -without milk, you don’t deserve milk. You’re a pain in the arse.  

Don’t order everything at once.

Tell me something…when you order five drinks in a row, each one of them being extremely complicated and annoying, much like your personality, do you really expect me to remember every stupid detail of your soy, half shot, extra hot, semi-dry, decaf, two pump vanilla, child soul caramel macchiato?

Have you seen me put it in the till yet, have you even seen me pick up a cup? No? Then why are you still talking? If you could order at a normal human pace, maybe we could both get through this with minimal bloodshed.

Don’t throw money on the table

If you see me outstretching my hand to take your payment, don’t put your money on the table and expect me to both pick it up and count it. A) It shows what an absolute dick you are and b) it makes me want to punch you in the face. Just put the money in my hand, go pick up your drink and go away.       

Wait until I ask you to pay

When I put your drink in the system and I have not asked you to pay yet, please…for the love of god, do not attack the card machine with your visa or special pay app. It just fucks up the system and in turn, fucks up my day. I don’t know what it is about people thinking I can put the information in the till, set up the cup and make the coffee all in a blink of an eye. So please, for my sanity, refrain from molesting the card reader until I tell you otherwise.   

So there you have it, those are just five ways that make normal, everyday people, absolute arseholes. Also, if you are reading this on your computer, your tablet or your mobile phone and you are wondering just what is so terrible about all these things, congratulations, you’re the fucking arsehole.

Have a nice day.

Oops, TV and violent video games, made me massacre my family!

As the title suggests, no, I have not gone on a massive rampage and killed everyone I hold near and dear to my heart. Nor have I walked in to the town centre in the middle of the day and started spraying everyone and everything I see with an M16. Trying to save the world from German invasion.  And yes, I play violent video games and I watch horror movies, where the main plot is to kill as many people in the most horrid ways possible.

So how come I have not turned in to a raging psychopath? Who’s mind has been warped and become delusional? And the realms between the video gaming world and the real world, have blurred to create one big confusing crime spree of stealing cars, killing prostitutes and robbing banks with nothing more than an extremely large purple dildo.  (If you got the game references, brownie points for you!)

gta5

Since the creation of film and TV, dating back to the early 20’s, people have blamed film for the downfall of humanities morality.

A few examples follow.

  1. In the early 1920s, there was such a thing called ‘A penny gaff’ a place where the working class could go and watch a eight or nine two minuet films that were looped constantly throughout the day., These films usually involved some sort of ‘violent’ spectacle or an aspect of mischief. The middle and higher classes; as they do to such an annoying extent today, blamed these films for the rising crime rates and the somewhat brash behaviour they ‘may’ have experienced, at  some point in their life’s.
  1. Fast forward to the 1930s, although there were now films with a narrative, people still blamed the films for crimes that did not relate at all the films themselves, and then again in the 1940s, where some people blamed ‘violent’ scenes depicting images from WW1, for the start of WW2.  (Which we all know is utter rubbish!)

This continued throughout the years, but not to the extent as we see today. Eg. Mine craft promotes vandalism, Call of Duty can corrupts young children, Saints Row The theird glorifies gang violence.

Another example of the world and media blaming film for violent behaviour is as follows.

In 1993, a despicable murder took place in England. It all involved three young boys, this was the shocking murder, of James Bulger. For those of you who don’t know, James Bulger was a young three year old boy that was kidnapped from a shopping mall by two ten year old boys. He was than tortured and murdered, his body left at the train tracks a few mile from Liverpool, discarded, like nothing more than trash. The two ten year old boys were Jon Venables , and Robert Tompson.

The next paragraph is just one of the reasons to explain why the boys did it.

The two boys, who ‘apparently’ watched the movie Chucky, decided to go and kidnap, beat and murder a younger boy, than leave him at the train tracks to die. Now, I have watched a lot of horror films, including all of the Chucky films, all the saw films and all the hostel films; I have yet to brutally murder anyone.

But, why was Chucky blamed?

Simply, because the police on the case happened to find the ‘Child’s play 3’ video in one of the boys houses at the time of the murder, despite the fact the boys had a long history of violent, anti-social behaviour and a violent upbringing.

Chucky

Chucky, the murderous doll

Jon Venables was released, from a life sentence and given a new identity in 2002, but returned to jail two years later, after he was found with child pornography. he was than realised again earlier last year. Kudos to our justice system!

Last but not least, the most recent news story in my mind, the attempted murder of Mr and Mrs Petric’s, all because they would not let their son play Halo.

A boy shot his parents, after they would not let him play Hallo, locking the game away in the gun cabinet (Bad move on their part, honestly who locks anything away in a gun cabinet other than a gun?)

 The boy had somehow broken in to said gun cabinet than proceed to put a shotgun shell in each of his parents. They had later discovered that the boy had mental problems in the past, as well as a history of violence both physical and mental, but he had a happy family life. But what did the media blame it on? You guessed it. HALO!

The main hero from Halo.

The main hero from Halo.

A game where you run around as a futuristic space solider with the name of master chief, saving the world (not necessarily our world) from huge blue aliens that resemble very muscular deformed gorillas and other aliens that are more like a mutated inbred version of a multicoloured crab tortoises.

Either this young boy misinterpreted the game with dreadful consequences, or( at the risk of sounding horribly blunt and uncompassionate) he was crazy in the first place…         

And last but not least, guess what the media think was the sole cause of the London riots? Was it because of Social and economic inequality? Crimes of opportunity? Or, the high rates of youth unemployment to blame?

Those are just, some of the examples, the other, less logical and media favourite…Grand Theft Auto.

I admit, the game is a violent representation of glorified crimes such as murder, prostitution, stealing cars and robbing banks. The favourite crime, being picking up prostitutes, doing the deed, then beating them to death with a baseball bat, just to get your money back.

But to blame the London riots on a game?

To put it simply, the London riots was caused by a domino effect; which started because of the seemingly ‘unlawful’ death of a drug dealer called Mark Duggan (No loss there.) A minority of people stated to kick off which got the attention of those other people who just like to cause trouble, throw the unemployment rates and money problems into the mix, this gives the idiots an excuse to go around and break into shops, stealing merchandise that does not belong to them to get back at the government for not taking better care of the ‘poor’ and to stick a middle finger up at the police force knowing that they would not be able to do anything about it because ‘human rights’  has taken away all or most of their power to punish criminals. (Takes deep breath)

The only reason any game would have caused the riots, is if someone specifically looted a game console to play the games on.

A picture of the London riots and quote from London Evening Standard paper.

A picture of the London riots and quote from London Evening Standard paper.

Now that, that’s all cleared up, in a summery that could have been summed up in one or two paragraphs,( but then it would not be a ramble would it?) everyone can sleep better, knowing that games to not cause bad people to do bad things. It is the people themselves and the downfall of human morality that causes all these things….Sleep well!

 

There is not a soul out there that has not thought about it. There is no one alive on this earth, that can say they have not thought about the seemingly, farfetched, yet not so fictional possibility of a Zombie apocalypse. If you are sitting at you computer now nodding your head in a disapproving gesture, smirking and thinking ‘my mind would never think about thinking such nonsense’ then I am afraid you are lying to yourself.

Think about it, out of the estimated 6 billion parasites that call our world home, (that does not include the parasites carried over from interstellar travel. Yes people, Space! )  there are currently only four classifications of parasites. The Cestodes (Tape worm), The Treamatodes (Flukes) the Nematodes (Rondworms) the Protoza (one cell parisites) In each classification, there are over 1000 parasites that can live in the human body.

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Toxyplasma

Skin crawling yet?

70% of parasites that can live in the human body are microscopic and the ones that aren’t are worms that can be ¼ of an inch long, to 40 feet long.  Trust me, that is not even an exaggeration.

Today there 12 discovered parasites that can take over a hosts brain; fortunately none of them can survive in a human, (it is found mostly in insects.) But it only takes evolution to make that interspecies jump from insect to human.

So the threat of a Zombie virus is actually quiet real, especially when you take rabies into effect. Think about it; it is a virus that turns its host into a mindless aggressive machine, it if often spread by the saliva entering a wound after the infected person bites and uninfected person. It also had the ability to infect different warm blooded species such as cats, dogs and monkeys.

Once the rabies virus is in the bloodstream, it attacks the cells of its host, it incubates than moves up the peripheral nerves, and then it attacks the brain.

The symptoms of rabies are as follows,

  • High temperature
  • chills
  • fatigue (extreme tiredness)
  • problems sleeping
  • lack of appetite
  • headache
  • irritability
  • anxiety
  • sore throat
  • vomiting
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Rabies Virus

In more advance cases there have been symptoms of aggression, profuse sweating, paling of the skin, increased production of saliva, hallucinations and fear of water.

India had the highest rate of Rabies in the world, so odds are, that’s where patient Zero will be, all the virus needs is a tiny bit of evolution and boom, and you got your Zombies!

So, in preparation for this tragic event, I have come up with the meanest, strongest and smartest Zombie team there is. Feel free to reblog with your own but kicking team. Have a little fun. (Before we all turn in to mindless, decomposing walking corpses! )

Now, on to the best Zombie killing team there could ever be (in my opinion)  starting  with…

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1 – Alice Abernathy

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Sexy, fast, athletic and also half human half mutant, Alice is a typical choice to have fighting at your side when the un-dead are no longer dead…

she knows how to use a gun, and looks fantastic in a tight leather outfit. she also has mind powers of some proportion.

Alice is my first choice of partner to fight by my side.

x

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Danny Trejo

His a bad ass, gun totting, knife  wielding
Mexican, who else do you need by your side,
When your killing corpses there is not much
argument when it comes to this guy, plus he
is quick and scary as hell,
you do not want to end up on the wrong side of this
Mexican

Vinnie Jones

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Next, there’s Vinnie, His bad, his angry and he has a temper that would rival the hulks. Vinnie Jones would shoot a zombie in the head whilst he beat another twice dead with solid gold knuckle dusters. and he would look good doing it.

And come on, you just gotta love that accent.

Fiona Glenanne

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Smart, sexy and can shoot a man from 700 yard with a sniper as well as take a man down three times her strength and size.

Fea is a great choice to have when you stuck in a sticky situation.  Whether you need an escape route from a seemingly inescapable building, or if you just wanna blow it up with all those Zombies inside.

She is your girl!

Ziva David

Ziva David

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Lastly and probably the most important of all, how can I forget the amazingly talented and jaw droppingly  gorgeous Ziva David. A Mossad Kidon agent, NCIS investigator and former IDF solider.

She would shake your hand as she got ready to put a bullet in your head. Able to kill you 18 different ways with a  paper clip,  weapons  expert and trained in bomb making and disposal,  she is not someone you would want to have as your enemy.

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So there you are, the best dam Zombie fighting team you will ever meet, why not try and make your own,  re-blog  and have fun!

IVY

 

Why do we get so attached to our pets?

According to polls, there are 8 million cats and over 8 million dogs kept as pets in the UK alone. Over 20% of people in the UK keep dogs as their pets and just fewer than 18% keep cats, the rest keeping small rodents, birds and reptiles.

1 in two households own a pet. That means there are over 22 million pets kept just in the UK!

So…when the thought of going to university for three years crosses my mind, it is not leaving home for the very first time, or the thought of having to live off pot noodles, Iceland bought pizza’s and cheap ready meals that makes me feel slightly woozy. It is not even the fact that I shall be thrown into the big bad world, without mommy and daddy there to hold my hand.

And, it is not the fact that I will be leaving all my friends behind me, doomed to find more like minded people in a strange place I know nothing about.

The main thing that crosses my mind is the thought of leaving my dog for months on end, it brings a sort of… clenching feeling to my chest and stomach, like icy fingers or the feeling you get when you have had too much pudding.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love my family to bits, no matter how dysfunctional it is. I will dearly miss the avid writer that is my mother, the grumpy pudding gobbler of a father and the troll up stairs that can only be described as my brother. However, It is the thought of walking through the door after a long day and being greeted by nothing but a cold unmade bed, probably a few half full bottles of alcohol (it is university after all) and a box in the corner that contains something that resembles pizza. But there will be no pitter patter of tiny little paws, large puppy dog eyes and a wagging tail there to greet me.

So the question is, why do we get so attached to our pets?

I often have this conversation with friends, who have pets of their own, and we have come up with the conclusion that the companionship of a pet, whether it is man’s best friend, furry feline or the cold blooded friendship of man and reptile, it ‘s a special connection.

It is not the connection you may share between friends or family or even lovers, but it is an entirely different feeling, which make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. It is an unconditional love that is hard to find anywhere else.  Maybe Its goes back to the dawn of time, where man lived and hunted alongside animal, most likely dog, who were probably the first animal to be kept as pets.  With our furry hounds related to wolves it is no wonder why they are so popular.

And then we come to cats…our stuck up, arrogant and slightly bitchy feline friends. Their presence as pets dates back to the early Egyptian times, where they were praised for their talents at pest control. Maybe this is where their ‘All important attitude’ comes from.

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But all pets, no matter what they are have a profound effect on their human caregiver, and it is not only us that get attached to the animal, but the animal that also gets attached to us. If you think of it, you are their source of security and survival, without you, they are just another stray dog without a pack. You are their safety. Just like, they are your comfort, companionship and security. Our pets become important family members, and it’s understandable why we feel so much grief when one strays or sadly flies up to the big old pet heaven in the sky.

If you are a pet lover or not, there is no denying that there is and always will be a connection between human and beast. It has been there since the dawn of time, and shall remain till the sun grows cold.

Ivy

New to the block

Hello,  Bonjour, Guten tag, Shalom, ‘Bore da and Holla!

As you may have  noticed, I am the new kid on the block, but I am trying to make a name for myself in the blogging world,

I would like to take a moment to tell you a little about my self. I am an aspiring writer, Director and Actor, I was born in South Africa in Johannesburg, but now live in england, in a little town house with my family and my Collie crossed dog named Blu.

I write  children’s  books and Post  Apocalyptic  fiction (I have a novel in the works) I love the outdoors and live for adventure, and even though i have not had a big adventure yet, i see on in the early future.

In September i shall be going to Kingston to study Drama, Film  Studies  and Languages for three years, (Four if i get my year  abroad)

In five years, i hope to grace the stage, silver screen and the big screen, i know its far  fetched, but what is life without ambition!

Thanks all from me for now…till i figure out how to use this blog properly!

Ivy 

Wherever there is humanity, Conflict shall always exist.
– Ashley Reed