5 ways to being a better person (by not being a dick)

Most of us have had a job that has required us to actually talk to people, I am afraid that in this day and age, people are an integral part of society and contact with them is usually unavoidable.

There are many types of people of many different cultures that are kind, loving and generally pleasant to be around. I often find myself enjoying the company of certain humans I have taken to calling my friends, but where there is good, there is always bad, and these bad people usually come in the form we workers in retail and hospitality like to call dickhea- ahem, I mean- customers.

I know it must be stressful to have the weekends off, with all that shopping and relaxing you have to do before even more shopping and relaxing. I understand how hard it is to be able to walk out into the town and be able to buy just about anything one would need, so I have come up with a helpful little list to help you, help me, help you.

Here are five ways to be a better person by not being a dick.  

Don’t talk on the phone while I serve you.   

Don’t talk on the phone when I am serving you. Just don’t do it. If you are on the phone, finish your conversation before you bother me. Simple as that. I did not come in to work at an ungodly time in the morning just to watch you have a conversation about who slept with who or what, how drunk you got last night or where you are going to on holiday in the next week. I don’t care, no one cares. Not even the person you’re talking to cares.

Don’t just order a coffee and expect me to know wtf you want

I work in a coffee shop. Don’t come in and order just a coffee – there are lots of coffees. Don’t order and just expect me to know exactly what you want like some mind reading magician. I don’t walk into a restaurant and just order ‘food.’

“Oh hello Mr Waiter, I will have the food please.”

Also, don’t get pissy with me when I suggest something because you obviously don’t know what the hell you want. If you order ‘just’ a coffee, I am going to give you an Americano -without milk, you don’t deserve milk. You’re a pain in the arse.  

Don’t order everything at once.

Tell me something…when you order five drinks in a row, each one of them being extremely complicated and annoying, much like your personality, do you really expect me to remember every stupid detail of your soy, half shot, extra hot, semi-dry, decaf, two pump vanilla, child soul caramel macchiato?

Have you seen me put it in the till yet, have you even seen me pick up a cup? No? Then why are you still talking? If you could order at a normal human pace, maybe we could both get through this with minimal bloodshed.

Don’t throw money on the table

If you see me outstretching my hand to take your payment, don’t put your money on the table and expect me to both pick it up and count it. A) It shows what an absolute dick you are and b) it makes me want to punch you in the face. Just put the money in my hand, go pick up your drink and go away.       

Wait until I ask you to pay

When I put your drink in the system and I have not asked you to pay yet, please…for the love of god, do not attack the card machine with your visa or special pay app. It just fucks up the system and in turn, fucks up my day. I don’t know what it is about people thinking I can put the information in the till, set up the cup and make the coffee all in a blink of an eye. So please, for my sanity, refrain from molesting the card reader until I tell you otherwise.   

So there you have it, those are just five ways that make normal, everyday people, absolute arseholes. Also, if you are reading this on your computer, your tablet or your mobile phone and you are wondering just what is so terrible about all these things, congratulations, you’re the fucking arsehole.

Have a nice day.

Comic Con 2015 – FemShep Renegade Armour.

London Comic Con – 24th October – Femshep

After many hours of building and creating, I finally did it, my first ever Cosplay attempt for the London Comic Con!

Apart from my shoes falling to pieces at the end of the day due to massive downpour, I think I did a pretty good job. Pretty proud of it!

For those of you who have not been following this blog, I attempted to make my very own N7 armour out of EVA foam. You can see my progress and attempt it yourself by using the basic guide in my previous posts.

The Con was great, I was so happy with the amount of people that came up to me asking if they could have a picture with me. You can see a few of the photos below, although, there were many more, I was sadly unable to get any of the other pictures.

Cosplay 2015 October 24th London - Femshep and Drago


Cosplay 2015 October 24th London - Femshep renegade,Femshep Paragon and KasumiCosplay 2015 October 24th London- Femshep and Spartan

N7 ARMOUR UPADATE – Finished Torso

N7 ARMOUR UPADATE – Finished Torso

I never thought I would swear so much at an inanimate object, but finally, after many days of craft knife cuts, glue gun burns and bandaged fingers I have learnt two things.

  1. Never let me loose with anything remotely sharp or hot.
  2. Cosplay is rage inducing but oddly satisfying.

Below is a front and back view of the Torso, painted Renegade Red. Since I am going as a renegade Shepard, I thought the colour fit well.

The belt, which still needed to be painted, will lay over the very bottom of the stomach and be kept in place with straps and a little bit of Velcro.

Quick tip: Be sure to wear gloves when using a glue gun…hot glue burns like hell!

Torso fin (no battle dammage)I painted the front and back separately, then put them together using clips. I found the glue holds to the BACK TORSOfabric a lot better if you make tiny cuts where you wish to glue the straps and sand the fabric down slightly. The only way that strap is coming off is if you pull the fabric off with it.

The neck is a separate piece as well, held on to the back with a strip of Velcro. To make the collar, I just heated the foam and bent it in to shape.

The lower back and lower torso are also held on with a long piece of Velcro, making moving in the suit a lot easier than if it were glued down. I can attach and detach them when I take the suit off for easy storage.

I still need to add the majority of the battle damage, mostly to the front of the suit. I will add photos when it is done.

In other words, there is still plenty of work to be done, so in the famous words of Femshep – ‘I should go.’

N7 COSPLAY BUILD – GAUNTLETS

Mass Effect N7 Armour build – Gauntlets

I have finally done it. I have finally finished…one piece of my armour. Raise your hands and shout hallelujah!
I didn’t screw it up…well that’s a lie, I screwed up a little, but still, I actually managed to make something, look like the something it’s supposed to look like. Whoop Whoop!

‘Clears throat. Composes self’

Right…

Celebrations out of the way, I want to show the gauntlets I made for my N7 armour. Which, in my opinion, were the easiest thing to make and paint. Below are some pictures of the gauntlets all shiny and new, painted with red and white acrylic paint.

Unfortunately in my haste to finish my gauntlets, I neglected to take pictures before I painted them, but just imagine them grey and…foamy.

ArmsThe process of painting is a long laborious one, but it pays off in the end as the foam looks shiny and holds a metallic tint, without you spending money on a metallizer.

Firstly, cover the foam in two coats of PVA and water, waiting for them to completely dry before painting over them. Add a thin sheen of Plasti-dip and wait another four hours for the foam to completely dry.

Next, spray paint the entire piece with a silver spray paint, (I just use fast dry project enamel.)

Lastly, spray paint over the silver, whatever colour you want your armour to be, the silver undercoating leaves a metallic shine under the second layer and even aids to adding battle damage such as scuffs and weathering.

Here are my finished gauntlets with battle damage. To make the cracks, simply cut the foam with a crafting knife then heat the area

Arms damagedwith a heat gun, the foam will expand from the head and open up, leaving a gash in the foam. Simply paint the inside of the cracks silver, rub in the paint with your finger and leave to dry.

If you wish to create scuffs, get a bit of masking tape, stick it on to the place you want to create a scuff and rip it off. The masking tape will rip away the second layer slightly, leaving specks of silver underneath.

This is only one way of creating scuffs and battle marks.

N7 ARMOUR BUILD – Torso

N7 ARMOUR BUILD – Torso

If you are a first time Cosplay builder and you want something difficult, finicky and rage inducing to build, look no further than the N7 armour the protagonist wears in Mass Effect. Many experienced Cosplay builders will probably laugh at the fact I am finding this armour build so hard, but it has generally been pretty difficult.

I must first start by saying that I have not been using templates. I have been looking at other Cosplay builds and basing my designs off of them, as well as the design in the game.

BackFor those of you who do not know what the N7 armour actually looks like, the picture on the left will give you a pretty good idea.

For those of you who are aware of what it looks like, please excuse the blond Shepard, and that god-awful purple uniform, she is not mine… (Going slightly off topic for a second burn blond Shepard with fire.)

Right….moving on.

I am aware that in all my excitement to show the world my build, silently hoping that it won’t end up looking like a space marine in a blender, I have neglected to list the tools I am using to create my armour.  You can find a full list of these tools at the bottom of this article.

You may find the picture on the right here pretty familiar, I posted it a few weeks ago to show how I created the breast plate. What torso frontyou see here is the detail burnt into the foam using a cheap soldering iron.

Quick tip: When burning in the pattern across the breasts, be sure to place the breastplate over the template you used to mould them, that way, the breasts will not deform when heated with the soldering iron, unless you want deformed boobs like mine.

For the detailing, a soldering iron works pretty well, but if you have a little extra money for a wood burning kit, I would suggest you get that, the extra tips come in handy for later detailing.

The part I found most difficult about the torso, was the back. There are a lot of extra small parts that you need to cut out and stick on separately. That can become pretty difficult when your hands shake like a squirrel on meth.

Back 1You can see my attempt in the picture on the left. As you can see, I need to redo the silver…things (I have no idea what they are called) as they are a bit wonky, and the shield generator also needs to be redone, but all in all, I am pretty happy with how the back turned out.

Quick tip: To make to the folds of the box on the back, the soldering iron comes in very hands. Just get a ruler, draw a line where you want the fold to be, burn it into the foam and voilà!

After I have formed the rest of the armour I shall be painting it. However, I am having some trouble in that department, even when using the Plastidip.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

List of tools needed

Heat gun – Used for heating and forming the foam. Can also be used to seal the foam when ready to be painted.
Soldering Iron / Wood burning kit – Used for detailing and creating folds.
– Crafting knife – For cutting the foam.
– Plastidip – For sealing the foam before painting.
Glue gun – For glueing..
-Work Gloves – To keep you hands clean and safe from the material.
– Mask – So you don’t breath in an smoke when heating the foam

N7 BUILD – Greaves

Building the Greaves – First try (Still need to be painted) 

Boots2

I spent most of the day yesterday building the greaves for my N7 armour and I have to say, I am pretty happy with how it turned out. The picture on the left is the unpainted base for the N7 greaves, made with a Nike shoe spray painted black, and a shin pad.

I did not use any templates for the foam, so I was expecting the greaves to be a disaster, but I am pretty happy with them. The next stage is to paint them red and add battle damage. Boots 1

The engraved lines were created by cutting the foam with a very sharp knife, then heating the foam so it expands.

This is what they look like when I put them on. As you can see they still need to be painted and the laces need to be changed. When it comes to finishing them, I shall be painting them red and black. Attempting to add battle damage and weathering.

Wish me luck!

N7 Armour build update!

Building the weapon

Having to put the armour build on hold until I get paid, I have decided to build a weapon to go with my armour. I did not have enough foam to build a weapon, so I decided I would create my own shotgun with a Mass Effect look and feel using a water-gun!

I started out thinking it was going to be a disaster, but it actually turned out looking pretty good. (I think)

I used the M-300 Claymore as a template for my own weapon build, then tried to find a water-gun that looked similar in shape to the weapon shown below.

This is the M-300 CLAYMORE

This is the M-300 CLAYMORE

I then painted the water gun with black, silver, red and white, creating my own spin on the M300 Claymore, painting the distinctive N7 stripe down the side.

Below are pictures of the gun before it was painted and after it was painted. Hope you like it!

Water gun before

After

Day 2 – N7 Armour build!

Sorry for the massive delay, I have been super busy!

Anyway, the armour build is going well, much better then I expected. You can see the progress below, along with some descriptions and pointers of how to make your own. As I said in my previous post, I am using EVA foam for this armour build.So far, I have not had any problems with it. It’s easy to cut, east to shape and holds a good, sturdy shape when the foam cools.

Chest

Chest

What you see here is the chest piece. I know it looks a little wonky, but when it’s wrapped around my torso, it looks pretty good, I must say that I am pretty proud of it. The bottom piece is just a template for the lower torso. As you can see, I have not added the detail yet.

To make the chest piece, I used a thick bit of wood and two circular sauce dishes. (See below.) I glued the dishes to the plank of wood. (Which was originally a door to…something ) and put paper-mache over the top to make the flat bottoms of the the dishes more rounded.

Sauce dishes for boobs!

Sauce dishes for boobs!

I then took my flat chest template, and heated it under the grill until it was soft enough to mould.

WARNING: Wear gloves and a face mask, the smoke  the EVA foam gives off is toxic. Make sure you ventilate your workspace. Do not let the foam burn.

After the EVA foam is soft, it will become floppy. Mould the foam to the breast template as quickly as possible, making sure to press down hard on the bits you wish to mould. Weight the foam down, or have a friend help you. If you don’t do it the first time, repeat the process, but flatten out the foam first before giving it a second try.

This took me six tries.

Chest piece on its own

Chest piece on its own

Twinkle toes and I attempt an armour build!

Firstly, let me make one thing clear…I have no idea what I am doing. In fact, when I first attempted to build my N7 armour, it ended up looking like a hat a member of the royal family would wear…I was trying to make an arm guard.

So when my best friend flew in, in a flurry of flamboyant excellency, offering to help me build the armour like my very own fairy god mother, I was more than happy to let him help me.

Me and my fairy god mother

Me and my fairy god mother

This project could go one of two ways. Either, we build some amazing N7 armour, I become the prettiest gal at the fair and live happily ever after as long as I shall live…

Or…we do a a terrible build on the armour and are forced to cross the border to live out our lives as fugitives in Mexico!

Either way…it should still be fun.🙂

I will keep this page updated as often as I can with the build. So wish me luck! Because I am going to need it!